A new year is almost upon us. For some of us this means a new fresh start in many areas of life and sadly for others, it’s just another year of the same. For me, I think I am riding the fence on this one.
There are some areas of my life that will remain the same and will continue to be stagnant for quite some time in this New Year that is approaching fast upon me. Some things I am just not ready to deal with and other things I don’t yet have the tools to help work with to dig my way out.
Yet there are things that will change as the New Year rings in. There are many changes that will be taking place in my business, which I can only hope and pray that it will be for the better. I am cleaning out the physical clutter in my home, which is not only a healthy thing to do but also makes for a peaceful atmosphere to live in. I am continuing in walking through my recovery and working on continuing my relationship with Christ! I am also planning on making scheduled time to work on craft things, which I truly love, like my scrapbooks. And one very new thing I am going to include in this New Year is making time to "be still" and get reacquainted with who I am through Christ.
I am not making New Year resolutions for I am just like most everyone else in not keeping them for any length of time. I have come to the conclusion that all I have is today. I can’t always worry about what’s to come nor can I stress about what was when all I have is this very moment in time. For this New Year I will focus on what is today, where I should be today, what can I do today and live it moment by moment.
I hope you all have a grand New Year in whatever that is for you and we will continue this journey with a “new” out-look on 2009! See yea next year… same place, same time…
Monday, December 29, 2008
Sunday, December 21, 2008
Thursday, December 18, 2008
A Christmas Poem
'TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS,
HE LIVED ALL ALONE,
IN A ONE BEDROOM HOUSE MADE OF
PLASTER AND STONE.
I HAD COME DOWN THE CHIMNEY
WITH PRESENTS TO GIVE,
AND TO SEE JUST WHO
IN THIS HOME DID LIVE.
I LOOKED ALL ABOUT.
A STRANGE SIGHT I DID SEE -
NO TINSEL, NO PRESENTS,
NOT EVEN A TREE.
NO STOCKING BY MANTLE,
JUST BOOTS FILLED WITH SAND.
ON THE WALL HUNG PICTURES
OF FAR DISTANT LANDS.
WITH MEDALS AND BADGES,
AWARDS OF ALL KINDS,
A SOBER THOUGHT
CAME THROUGH MY MIND.
FOR THIS HOUSE WAS DIFFERENT.
IT WAS DARK AND DREARY.
I FOUND THE HOME OF A SOLDIER,
ONCE I COULD SEE CLEARLY.
THE SOLDIER LAY SLEEPING,
SILENT, ALONE,
CURLED UP ON THE FLOOR
IN THIS ONE BEDROOM HOME.
THE FACE WAS SO GENTLE,
THE ROOM IN SUCH DISORDER,
NOT HOW I PICTURED
A UNITED STATES SOLDIER.
WAS THIS THE HERO
OF WHOM I'D JUST READ?
CURLED UP ON A PONCHO,
THE FLOOR FOR A BED?
I REALIZED THE FAMILIES
THAT I SAW THIS NIGHT
OWED THEIR LIVES TO THESE SOLDIERS
WHO WERE WILLING TO FIGHT.
SOON ROUND THE WORLD
THE CHILDREN WOULD PLAY
AND GROWNUPS WOULD CELEBRATE
A BRIGHT CHRISTMAS DAY.
THEY ALL ENJOYED FREEDOM
EACH MONTH OF THE YEAR,
BECAUSE OF THE SOLDIERS,
LIKE THE ONE LYING HERE.
I COULDN'T HELP WONDER
HOW MANY LAY ALONE
ON A COLD CHRISTMAS EVE
IN A LAND FAR FROM HOME.
THE VERY THOUGHT
BROUGHT A TEAR TO MY EYE.
I DROPPED T O MY KNEES
AND STARTED TO CRY.
THE SOLDIER AWAKENED
AND I HE ARD A ROUGH VOICE,
"SANTA DON'T CRY,
THIS LIFE IS MY CHOICE;
I FIGHT FOR FREEDOM,
I DON'T ASK FOR MORE.
MY LIFE IS MY GOD,
MY COUNTRY, MY CORPS."
THE SOLDIER ROLLED OVER
AND DRIFTED TO SLEEP.
I COULDN'T CONTROL IT;
I CONTINUED TO WEEP.
I KEPT WATCH FOR HOURS,
SO SILENT AND STILL,
AND WE BOTH SHIVERED
FROM THE COLD NIGHT'S CHILL.
I DIDN'T WANT TO LEAVE,
ON THAT COLD DARK NIGHT,
THIS GUARDIAN OF HONOR
SO WILLING TO FIGHT.
THEN THE SOLDIER ROLLED OVER,
WITH A VOICE SOFT AND PURE,
WHISPERED, "CARRY ON SANTA,
IT'S CHRISTMAS DAY, ALL IS SECURE."
ONE LOOK AT MY WATCH
AND I KNEW HE WAS RIGHT.
"MERRY CHRISTMAS MY FRIEND,
AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT."
This poem was written by a Marine.
The following is his request. I think it is reasonable.
PLEASE. Would you do me the kind favor of sending this to as many people as you can? Christmas will be coming soon and some credit is due to our U.S.and Canadian service men and women for our being able to celebrate these festivities. Let's try in this small way to pay a tiny bit of what we owe. Make people stop and think of our
heroes, living and dead, who sacrificed themselves for us. Please, do your small part to plant this small seed.
HE LIVED ALL ALONE,
IN A ONE BEDROOM HOUSE MADE OF
PLASTER AND STONE.
I HAD COME DOWN THE CHIMNEY
WITH PRESENTS TO GIVE,
AND TO SEE JUST WHO
IN THIS HOME DID LIVE.
I LOOKED ALL ABOUT.
A STRANGE SIGHT I DID SEE -
NO TINSEL, NO PRESENTS,
NOT EVEN A TREE.
NO STOCKING BY MANTLE,
JUST BOOTS FILLED WITH SAND.
ON THE WALL HUNG PICTURES
OF FAR DISTANT LANDS.
WITH MEDALS AND BADGES,
AWARDS OF ALL KINDS,
A SOBER THOUGHT
CAME THROUGH MY MIND.
FOR THIS HOUSE WAS DIFFERENT.
IT WAS DARK AND DREARY.
I FOUND THE HOME OF A SOLDIER,
ONCE I COULD SEE CLEARLY.
THE SOLDIER LAY SLEEPING,
SILENT, ALONE,
CURLED UP ON THE FLOOR
IN THIS ONE BEDROOM HOME.
THE FACE WAS SO GENTLE,
THE ROOM IN SUCH DISORDER,
NOT HOW I PICTURED
A UNITED STATES SOLDIER.
WAS THIS THE HERO
OF WHOM I'D JUST READ?
CURLED UP ON A PONCHO,
THE FLOOR FOR A BED?
I REALIZED THE FAMILIES
THAT I SAW THIS NIGHT
OWED THEIR LIVES TO THESE SOLDIERS
WHO WERE WILLING TO FIGHT.
SOON ROUND THE WORLD
THE CHILDREN WOULD PLAY
AND GROWNUPS WOULD CELEBRATE
A BRIGHT CHRISTMAS DAY.
THEY ALL ENJOYED FREEDOM
EACH MONTH OF THE YEAR,
BECAUSE OF THE SOLDIERS,
LIKE THE ONE LYING HERE.
I COULDN'T HELP WONDER
HOW MANY LAY ALONE
ON A COLD CHRISTMAS EVE
IN A LAND FAR FROM HOME.
THE VERY THOUGHT
BROUGHT A TEAR TO MY EYE.
I DROPPED T O MY KNEES
AND STARTED TO CRY.
THE SOLDIER AWAKENED
AND I HE ARD A ROUGH VOICE,
"SANTA DON'T CRY,
THIS LIFE IS MY CHOICE;
I FIGHT FOR FREEDOM,
I DON'T ASK FOR MORE.
MY LIFE IS MY GOD,
MY COUNTRY, MY CORPS."
THE SOLDIER ROLLED OVER
AND DRIFTED TO SLEEP.
I COULDN'T CONTROL IT;
I CONTINUED TO WEEP.
I KEPT WATCH FOR HOURS,
SO SILENT AND STILL,
AND WE BOTH SHIVERED
FROM THE COLD NIGHT'S CHILL.
I DIDN'T WANT TO LEAVE,
ON THAT COLD DARK NIGHT,
THIS GUARDIAN OF HONOR
SO WILLING TO FIGHT.
THEN THE SOLDIER ROLLED OVER,
WITH A VOICE SOFT AND PURE,
WHISPERED, "CARRY ON SANTA,
IT'S CHRISTMAS DAY, ALL IS SECURE."
ONE LOOK AT MY WATCH
AND I KNEW HE WAS RIGHT.
"MERRY CHRISTMAS MY FRIEND,
AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT."
This poem was written by a Marine.
The following is his request. I think it is reasonable.
PLEASE. Would you do me the kind favor of sending this to as many people as you can? Christmas will be coming soon and some credit is due to our U.S.and Canadian service men and women for our being able to celebrate these festivities. Let's try in this small way to pay a tiny bit of what we owe. Make people stop and think of our
heroes, living and dead, who sacrificed themselves for us. Please, do your small part to plant this small seed.
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Merry, Merry CHRISTMAS...
This time of year brings allot of fond memories for allot of us, and unfortunately not so fond memories for others. Some of my fondest memories for the Christmas season include memories with my large family… mom, dad, aunts, uncles, cousins and more cousins. My mom, dad and I would do a big dinner on Christmas eve and usually attend our churches Christmas eve service and then drive through certain areas of the city (San Francisco) to admire all the beautifully decorated houses. Once we got home it was time for all the yummy desserts and time to open presents! Then on Christmas morning, I would rush out to the living room to see what “Santa” left me and then opened our stockings. Sometime after breakfast, we would head over to my aunts house and have a day full of fun family games, more food and all us cousins would sit around the fire and open more gifts.
It’s fascinating to me to hear all the different traditions that families have around the Christmas time. One that my mom and I had for a long time was shopping the weekend of Thanksgiving. We always took a long bus ride to the heart of downtown San Francisco and would shop all day until it got dark and then head back home, on the bus with all of our shopping bags. As I grew into an adult, work took presidents over shopping that weekend. Usually by Thanksgiving I had and have all my shopping done. Working in the malls six days a week through December, the last thing I wanted to do on my day off was go back into the mall to deal with the same people that I dealt with all week long.
I love baking! One of my favorite things to do during Christmas time is bake while listening to my favorite Christmas songs and in between watching all the favorite Christmas movies that are on t.v.! I also enjoy making soap to give as gifts to all my friends.
As I have gotten older, especially in the past few years Christmas seems to have changed… or maybe it’s me that has changed. People don’t say “Merry Christmas” to you any more, in fear that they might offend you. Instead they take Christ out of it and tell you happy holidays. You don’t see as much giving from the heart as in helping people in need, it’s more about rushing off to this party and then that party and all about materialistic gifts. It seems few people stop and slow down to truly reflect on what the Christmas season is really all about. Pastor Jason made a comment this Sunday about how the whole world is forced to think about Christ at this time of year. Regardless of their religion and beliefs they are forced to recognize the birth of Christ this one time, every year! I never looked at it that way, but it is very true.
What are some of your favorite memories or traditions? Are you in the rare majority that tells everyone Merry Christmas? Have you slowed down to reflect the real meaning of Christmas and what that means for you? I hope you take time this busy season and remember to breathe and what this holiday truly represents.
Merry, Merry Christmas to you all…
It’s fascinating to me to hear all the different traditions that families have around the Christmas time. One that my mom and I had for a long time was shopping the weekend of Thanksgiving. We always took a long bus ride to the heart of downtown San Francisco and would shop all day until it got dark and then head back home, on the bus with all of our shopping bags. As I grew into an adult, work took presidents over shopping that weekend. Usually by Thanksgiving I had and have all my shopping done. Working in the malls six days a week through December, the last thing I wanted to do on my day off was go back into the mall to deal with the same people that I dealt with all week long.
I love baking! One of my favorite things to do during Christmas time is bake while listening to my favorite Christmas songs and in between watching all the favorite Christmas movies that are on t.v.! I also enjoy making soap to give as gifts to all my friends.
As I have gotten older, especially in the past few years Christmas seems to have changed… or maybe it’s me that has changed. People don’t say “Merry Christmas” to you any more, in fear that they might offend you. Instead they take Christ out of it and tell you happy holidays. You don’t see as much giving from the heart as in helping people in need, it’s more about rushing off to this party and then that party and all about materialistic gifts. It seems few people stop and slow down to truly reflect on what the Christmas season is really all about. Pastor Jason made a comment this Sunday about how the whole world is forced to think about Christ at this time of year. Regardless of their religion and beliefs they are forced to recognize the birth of Christ this one time, every year! I never looked at it that way, but it is very true.
What are some of your favorite memories or traditions? Are you in the rare majority that tells everyone Merry Christmas? Have you slowed down to reflect the real meaning of Christmas and what that means for you? I hope you take time this busy season and remember to breathe and what this holiday truly represents.
Merry, Merry Christmas to you all…
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Disappointed through shattered trust
Trust is both important and a dangerous risk. It is important because it allows us to form relationships with others and to depend on others for support, for confidence, for advice, for help, for love and for hope. But since trust involves risk, it can also be dangerous in the sense of disappointment and hurt to all different degrees. What we risk while trusting is the loss of the things that we entrust to others like, our hearts, and our self-respect, to name just a couple, which can be shattered by the betrayal of our trust.
The Webster’s Concise Dictionary states trust as: a reliance on the integrity, veracity, or reliability of a person or thing. Something committed to one’s care for use or safe keeping. Confident expectation; hope. To commit to the care of another; entrust. To except hope, to believe. To depend upon; confide in.
Trust, to me, means that you place confidence in someone, to be honest with you, faithful to you, keep promises and confidences, to support your goals and dreams and not abandon you.
As we all know (this includes me) people are human, complex, frail, broken and sinful beings. Therefore, previous hurts, fears or losses can impede their determination to trust in a relationship. I have heard it said that you need a “realistic” type of trust when you choose to trust someone; but what is a realistic type of trust? When I am asked to open my heart and trust others and I take that leap of faith, is it not realistic to except not to have the rug pulled out from under me?
Trust begins to build between people when there is a sense of honesty, respect and encouragement towards someone and in return there is a sense of acceptance and a reassurance to become vulnerable which builds self-esteem and alleviates fears of rejection.
For me personally, encouragement is the biggest part of the key for trust. I know that we all have gifts in different areas, but one of mine is to be in tuned with peoples feelings when they need simple support and encouragement to keep moving forward or a job well done. I am not perfect in this department and don’t always hit the mark when I should, but I do pretty good if I say so myself. But it is difficult for me not to loose trust when there is no support or encouragement for me, especially when it is needed the most and should have come from a very important circle of people in my life.
So what do I do when I want to trust, but every time I open my heart and take a step out to trust, it always ends up deceiving me? It makes me feel like I am not worth much and I feel foolish for trusting in the first place when I knew I would get hurt.
What does one do; you can’t live without trust but for me trust is a dangerous risk that usually spins me into a night-mare web of confusion. My strings that are attached to trust are wearing very thin and there aren’t many left. Over the weekend one more string was ripped from my core, leaving me disappointed and in despair, once again.
The Webster’s Concise Dictionary states trust as: a reliance on the integrity, veracity, or reliability of a person or thing. Something committed to one’s care for use or safe keeping. Confident expectation; hope. To commit to the care of another; entrust. To except hope, to believe. To depend upon; confide in.
Trust, to me, means that you place confidence in someone, to be honest with you, faithful to you, keep promises and confidences, to support your goals and dreams and not abandon you.
As we all know (this includes me) people are human, complex, frail, broken and sinful beings. Therefore, previous hurts, fears or losses can impede their determination to trust in a relationship. I have heard it said that you need a “realistic” type of trust when you choose to trust someone; but what is a realistic type of trust? When I am asked to open my heart and trust others and I take that leap of faith, is it not realistic to except not to have the rug pulled out from under me?
Trust begins to build between people when there is a sense of honesty, respect and encouragement towards someone and in return there is a sense of acceptance and a reassurance to become vulnerable which builds self-esteem and alleviates fears of rejection.
For me personally, encouragement is the biggest part of the key for trust. I know that we all have gifts in different areas, but one of mine is to be in tuned with peoples feelings when they need simple support and encouragement to keep moving forward or a job well done. I am not perfect in this department and don’t always hit the mark when I should, but I do pretty good if I say so myself. But it is difficult for me not to loose trust when there is no support or encouragement for me, especially when it is needed the most and should have come from a very important circle of people in my life.
So what do I do when I want to trust, but every time I open my heart and take a step out to trust, it always ends up deceiving me? It makes me feel like I am not worth much and I feel foolish for trusting in the first place when I knew I would get hurt.
What does one do; you can’t live without trust but for me trust is a dangerous risk that usually spins me into a night-mare web of confusion. My strings that are attached to trust are wearing very thin and there aren’t many left. Over the weekend one more string was ripped from my core, leaving me disappointed and in despair, once again.
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