A Friend

This is something I wrote about a year ago on an evening I was very lost in a very dark place. WARNING: Some my find this as a trigger, please be careful when reading this. If it becomes a trigger, leave the blog and come back when it is a safer time for you.


A sharp new blade to come to my aid
It sits and calls me by name
It only wants to comfort me not to betray me

I sit in the silence of this still dark chamber
With voices that accompany me
My heart is submerged in painful agony

Drowning alone with no mirage of hope in sight
Emotions running a muck all in spite of a fight
I tell myself to breathe but I just might ignite

Spinning out of control
Just wanting to stop its stroll
I swipe my finger across the sharp blade
Living behind a trail of blood
Like a prick from a rose bud

It’s profusely red and stains my lips
With it’s salty taste that rips through an eclipse
Adrenaline pumping on high while wanting to die
I begin to cry

This blade fits like a glove
To get rid of all of the above
Wanting to feel its razor sharp edge against my skin
Watching my skin tare open would make me spin
The warmth of my blood running down my arm
Could cause me great harm

There is a release as it oozes its way out
There are no more excuses for it refuses to remain
It is smeared with guilt and shame
Covered from head to toe with no one to blame

Sitting in a pool of blood to flood my soul
That’s my goal while deep in this hole
It is what will make me feel whole

I swear the scares I bare don’t deserve a prayer
But does anyone care
They say time heals all wounds
But the deal is to profound

I lay the blade to rest
Until the next quest
I bandage my arm so no need for alarm
And cover it with long sleeved charms

For tonight this excursion comes to an end
I sure could use a friend…